Today my son graduates from High School and this Mom is having a much harder time with it than she thought she would. I mean, how do I say goodbye to the childhood and hello to adulthood for this boy? He is my only, my baby. The baby that towers over me, sure. But, nonetheless MY baby.
Am I a helicopter Mom? Not so much anymore, but yes, I was for years. This is the child they told me I would never be able to conceive. This is the child who has Asperger's Syndrome and went through hell to get a correct diagnosis at 8 years old. This is the child that was bullied for years. The child that is introverted to a point that we genuinely worried. The child that spoke his first word at 5 months old, spoke complete sentences before he could walk!
How do you say goodbye to Dinosaurs, Pokemon, and bird fascinations? Goodbye to the word Mommy? Goodbye to being the one to fix things? Skinned knees? Bump on the head? Bad nightmare? It's OK, a hug a kiss and a Mom will protect you and make it go away always worked. Not so anymore!
This is my child, and I am so proud of every accomplishment he has ever made - especially when the odds were stacked against him. I am amazed every day with the young man he is!
He has learned so much in the past few years - self worth, pride, and courage. Oh the courage! Here is my child, bullied through High School, taking his Senior year at the Community College, showing up for his Graduation practice in a place where the very bullies exist- with his head held high and doing it of his own choosing! He did not have to take part of the ceremony to get his diploma. They would have mailed it.
But he chose to attend, because he EARNED it, he DESERVES it, and those bullies have no impact on the happiness he has found.
Yes, I guess the child is mostly gone and the adult is doing a wonderful job in forming itself.
As I shed my tears tonight, they will have a dual meaning - mourning and celebration!
But, damn, I will always miss that child- even while I embrace the adult.
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